


It Should've Been Me

by MoviesOccupyMyLife



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-06 23:45:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10347339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoviesOccupyMyLife/pseuds/MoviesOccupyMyLife
Summary: Beca writes a letter to her dead girlfriend.  TRIGGERWARNING?? JUST TO BE SAFE





	

Dear Chloe,

It's been three years, five months and eighteen days since that drunk driver hit your car and killed you. It should've been me, I was supposed to go out and pick up the food, but no, you being the amazingly awesome person you are, you volunteered to get it. I barely eat, I barely sleep and I don't do anything anymore. I stay at home all day, wishing you were at my side. I drink and I drink a lot. I get drunk just about every night, not being able to bear the pain.

There's not one second of the day where you don't cross my mind. I don't date. I have not seen anyone. You are… you were it for me. I can't move on. There are some days when I think you're going to walk right through the front door and hug me tightly, telling me everything is going to be okay, but deep down, I know it isn't going to happen.

You, Chloe Beale, were my life. You kept me going and you kept a smile on my face. Ever since you've been gone, I haven't smiled once. Not even at Fat Amy's jokes, and you know those are funny. I just can't find it in myself to smile or laugh, knowing I can't do it without you. It doesn't feel right, not being able to laugh with you.

I can't thank you enough for making me the person I am today. You broke down my walls and got to me and my damn emotions. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I wanted to start a family with you. I was planning on proposing to you a week after the accident. I made a reservation at your favorite restaurant and planned to take you to that movie you just had to see. But instead, I found myself at your funeral, the reservations canceled. And the worst part about that: you weren't able to see the movie you desired to see.

It should've been me, Chlo. You should've been the one to go to dinner and see that movie. You should've been the one to spend the rest of your life with your family. You should've been the one to be sitting at home, living the rest of your life and striving towards all those goals you set for yourself. But no, that drunk driver decided he needed to drive that night. The only thing that makes me not as sad, is that you died on impact, at least that's what the paramedics told me. And if you died on impact, that means that you didn't feel anything. You know why that makes me happy? Because I hate it when you feel pain, it makes me sad.

The drunk driver, he only got four years, his sentence is almost over. That means he can go out and do it again. He can kill someone else that really matters to someone and they'll end up just like me.

At your funeral, your parents asked me to speak. I got up to talk about you, but I couldn't form the words because I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that the love of my life died. I stood in front of you family and friends, not knowing what to do, tears running down my face and a piece of paper with what I was going to say in my hands.

Finally, my hands shaking uncontrollably, my mouth formed the words. "Chloe Beale, where to start," I had said with a sad chuckle. It took me about five minutes before I said anything else. "What a person. She made my dull, gray life colorful. She showed me that it is okay to feel. She showed me what it felt to be loved. She made me a completely different person when I met her, and not in a bad way." I paused, not sure if I should say anymore. "Today," I stopped, my voice breaking, "I was going to ask Chloe Beale, the love of my life, to marry me," I remember fiddling with the ring in my pocket. "But instead, I find myself at her funeral." I looked up at your mom, she was sobbing, her hands covering her mouth. "And now that the love of my life is gone, my life is gone."

Little did I know how true that last sentence was. Ever since you left, my life has dissipated into thin air. I should've stopped you from going to get the food that night. I should've just gotten off my lazy ass and said that it was fine and that I could go. But no, I smiled, and said, "You're the best babe."

But you know what, Chloe Beale. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME. I should've been in that car. I should've been hit by the drunk driver. I should've been the one to die on impact. I should've been the one lying in a casket that's currently in the ground. Because it should've been me.

I love you, Chloe Beale, you will always be in my mind and my heart.

Love,

~Beca Mitchell, the love of your life

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So this happened... Sorry? Don't forget to review as it motivates me to get more out for you! :D
> 
> ~Movies :)


End file.
